Parshas Chayai Sara: Your Money or Your Life?!

“And Abraham said to his slave, the elder of his household, who controlled all that was his: Place now your hand under my thigh. And I will have you swear by G-d, the L-rd of the heavens and the L-rd of the earth, that you not take a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanite, among whom I dwell. Rather, go to my land and to my kindred shall you go and take a wife for my son, for Isaac.” –Genesis 25: 3-4

Who tops off Forbes list as the wealthiest person in the world? Depending on the stock market, either Warren Buffet, Carlos Slim Helu, or Bill Gates will achieve that status (F.Y.I., Warren Buffet currently holds that title). In the Canaan Land some four thousand years ago, Abraham would have been the undisputed heir to that coveted title. So who managed his vast empire? Abraham relinquished the entire empire to his trustworthy servant Eliezer. Eliezer had no auditor or overseer. He was entirely in charge. After years of running the world's most successful empire, he was in for a surprise. Abraham requested that Eliezer should personally seek out a bride for Isaac. After delineating the qualities that need be sought, Abraham shockingly insisted that Eliezer take an oath of complete compliance.

What suddenly overcame Abraham? Surely if Eliezer was trustworthy enough to manage all of Abraham's financial holdings, he must have been trustworthy as well to fulfill this mission? Why did Abraham change his attitude towards Eliezer?

The founder of the mussar movement, Rabbi Yisroel Salanter (1810-1883), was fond of relating a story which helps to shed light on Abraham's enigmatic actions. On one of Rabbi Salanter's travels, he stopped off at a motel in a remote area for the night. As soon as the motel manager saw Rabbi Salanter's rabbinic visage, he asked him if he was a ritual slaughterer, and if he could please slaughter a chicken for him. Rabbi Salanter answered that he was not a slaughterer. As a ruse, the next day Rabbi Salanter asked the manager for a small loan of one Russian ruble. The manager replied that he doesn't even know him. Does he have references and witnesses to produce? Rabbi Salanter proceeded to berate the man that just yesterday he was willing to trust him as a ritual slaughterer on his say so; yet when it came to his pocketbook, he wouldn't dare trust him!

This motel manager is not alone. When people travel to another city, do they even ask about the reliability of the kosher supervision? If they do inquire, is the store owner asked, or the rabbi? Regardless, if that same person was contemplating a business deal with somebody in the city, he would conduct endless research into that individual. He would have background checks commissioned, and would invest resources to ensure the honesty and viability of the individual. Why is that? Because many people value their money more than they value their spirituality. This is true in so many areas of life. When it comes to the spiritual wellbeing of our family do we have the same standard as we have in terms of the health and financial wellbeing of the family? Do we allow our children to make choices about their spiritual future? Do we allow those same children to make choices when it comes to dental hygiene or vaccinations? IS there a double standard in place here?

Abraham had his values right. When it came to his finances, he trusted Eliezer unequivocally. However, in regards to spirituality, Abraham trusted nobody. Isaac's wife would determine his spiritual future. That decision required the utmost trust possible. That trust was only gained with an oath.

May we all learn from the model that Abraham set forth for us. Let us reexamine our values, and hopefully we will follow in his footsteps having our priorities straight.