Parshas Yisro: Time Management

To help their congregation better cope with modern times, one local synagogue decided to offer a course in time management. A member telephoned and asked the Rabbi what time it started. He replied, "Oh... fivish, sixish."

Unfortunately, this joke holds much truth. Jews especially should know better. We are entirely fixated on time. We pray three different times a day, we celebrate Shabbos every single week, we have a monthly renewal with the new month, and we are constantly celebrating holidays. But for some reason, precisely the very people who should be in sync with punctuality score very poorly in the area of time management.

This epidemic is no stranger to our history. Immediately following the giving of the Torah at Sinai, a non-Jew/convert arrived and gave Moses a lesson in time management. Jethro, the namesake of this week's parsha, recommended that Moses establish a judicial system to streamline productivity. That recommendation was so valued that Jethro merited having the parsha named after him.

What was the significance of Jethro's recommendation? The following story helps shed light on this matter: A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes."

The professor then produced two cans of beer from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things-your religion, your family, your health, your children, your job, your friends, your favorite passions-things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else-the small stuff."

"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. "The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Make time for your religion. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house, and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beer represented. The professor smiled and replied, "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of beers."

Jethro was telling his son-in-law Moses the reality that you don't find time for important things; you must make the time. Otherwise, burnout is inevitable.
Sure Moses was busy day and night, and it all seemed so urgent, but it was unnecessary. Others could pick up the slack. (Obviously Moses was the highest level prophet ever, but even so, G-d endorsed Jethro's idea)

On September 18, 2007, Carnegie Mellon professor and alumnus Randy Pausch delivered a one-of-a-kind last lecture that made the world stop and pay attention. It became an Internet sensation viewed by millions, an international media story, and a best-selling book that has been published in 35 languages. To this day, people everywhere continue to talk about Randy, share his message and put his life lessons into action in their own lives.

Randy died July 25, 2008, at the age of 47. In that last lecture he strongly emphasized the importance of time management, especially in light of his struggle. He said "If you lead your life the right way, things will take care of themselves."

But what is the right way? He firstly suggested to get rid of the TV (considering that according to the A.C. Nielsen Co., the average American watches more than 4 hours of TV each day (or 28 hours/week, or 2 months of nonstop TV-watching per year). In a 65-year life, that person will have spent 9 years glued to the tube.) He also recommended putting your TO DO list in priority order and to do a time journal, or count hours of TV watching. That alone will demonstrate the amount of hours we potentially will have for the golf balls of life. As Walt Disney who built Disneyland in 366 days said, "If you can dream it, you can do it" His message was to identify the important things of life, and then do them.

The international organization Avos Ubanim produced a phenomenal video as a plug for their parents and children learning programs. The video begins with a 9 year old boy holding a jar of money and phoning his father. His father picks up the phone during a business meeting, and the child asks "dad, how much do you earn an hour?" His father pretty much hung up on him. The child then called with the same question again, interrupting a business call. Again his father shrugged him off. Finally, the father arrived home, and after berating the child for bumping into him, and then apologizing, the child asked him how much he makes. "You really want to know. About $100 an hour,” the father replied. The child then counted out $37 and asked to buy half an hour of his father’s time!

How many of us could relate to that father and child? That father got so caught up in his work; he forgot the purpose of making money: in order to live a wholesome life. Let's prioritize our lives and make time for what is important. Let's not make the mistake.

The bestselling author Stephen Covey gets people to start focusing on their core values by writing down the eulogies they'd like given at their funerals, one by a family member, a work associate, a friend, and someone in their community. Others recommend writing two eulogies for yourself as a summation of one's life, detailing what you accomplished, how you impacted the world, (especially from the writer's point of view), and/or what meaning your life had.

The first eulogy is to be written based on your life IF IT WERE TO END TODAY and would reflect what the eulogy writer could say about your life to date. The other eulogy is to be written based on A CHOSEN FUTURE DATE OF DEATH. You, the writer, are to choose the day, month, and year that you would choose to die, if you had the power to choose, and would reflect what you would want the reader to be able to say after your death. Both eulogies should sum up how you hope to be remembered.

The eulogy exercise is not for everyone, but we all must examine our day, and begin carving out time for the true purposes of life: connecting to G-d. Each one of us is aware of our growing edges, but as we all know, the largest room in the world is… room for improvement! Let's begin managing our time and stop allowing our time to manage us.